


Cracks In My Mask

by devilishdreams



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Cyborg is trans, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fluffy Beast Boy, Light LGBT rep, Lightly Canon Divergent, Real name use, Sexual Abuse, Slade is REALLY Toxic, Slade is a dick, Terra is Abused, everyone is 18
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:49:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23476474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilishdreams/pseuds/devilishdreams
Summary: Terra wants to be friends and a hero alongside the Titans, but will her dream ever be a reality considering her past?Beast Boy thinks so, but he also thinks Terra is pretty cute and sometimes love becomes increasingly blind.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Garfield Logan/Tara Markov, victor stone/rachel roth
Comments: 6
Kudos: 4





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Look I love Terra (shocking I know considering the Tags) so I wanted to write something close to canon but like also showing what the show failed to show properly because you cannot see what they are thinking also more angst than a kids show can handle so yeah.  
> The show got pretty deep and hinted a lot. I will blantanly tell you instead get ready.

The desert sand was kicked up by the wind, small flying grains floating elegantly and dancing gently through the rocky mountains that of course was before being trampled. Shoes aggressively hit the sand over and over. A blonde figure was running and the Titans from the tower saw the commotion. A giant scorpion was giving a civilian trouble or so they thought.

Terra was strong person. She always had been since she first went on the move with her abilities she always tried to practice with her powers and lately everything had been going well in Jump City. Nothing had been triggered yet and for once she was excited that maybe, just once she could plant some roots. This scorpion at the moment however was just practice. Practice for when she would be able to lead somewhat of a normal life.

Shadows were looming over the desert. Robin had Starfire and Raven scout to make sure the civilian would be okay, although when they found Terra she was cornered by the huge thick skinned monster. Starfire raised a glowing hand to start her attack, however put her hand down when the beautiful blue eyes of the trapped started glowing bright yellow not unlike Star’s own eyes. She raised two gloved hands and a rock encased in yellow light flew up and a with a wince Terra slammed the rock into the scorpion. The monster’s tail grew rigid and then flopped to the side soon after.

Looking up at the Teen Titans, Terra gave a smirk with determination in those blue orbs. Cyborg gave a woot in response and slapped Robin’s back. “Looks like we found something amazing!” The blonde chuckled and expertly made her way to them. “Heya, I’m Terra!” Robin started to open his mouth and she laughed. “You’re the Teen Titans. I already know.”

It wasn’t long before Beast Boy, Starfire, and Cyborg were pelting the new and interesting person with plenty of questions and Raven and Robin held back and gave a silent conversation to one another. They seemed to agree that “This should be looked into more.” So when Beast Boy pleaded to bring her home Robin agreed and Raven’s eyes burned through the darkness and were more red than her anger. This was suddenly very dangerous. 

The walk to Titans Tower was a little longer for the guys and Terra. Starfire and Raven easily could have flown back and Raven well she did. Cyborg promised he would catch up later as he followed after his girlfriend to try and calm her down. He’d probably help her spar if it wasn’t too bad. Starfire on the other hand did not walk, but kept everyone entertained on their way and Terra explained how she had been living in a cave not too far from where they found her. She didn’t have much and Robin promised to grab those things for her later. He wanted to keep an eye on her and that’d be easier at the Tower rather than letting her free roam. 

Beast Boy was absolutely Gawking. Sure the girl before his was a tad dirty and a bit banged up. Hell her clothes were old and tattered, but her hair was smooth and it floated in the soft wind and her eyes sparkled right into him. He kept staring at her lips as she spoke and his heart ached almost painfully. She was everything and he liked it.

Terra seemed interested back from what he could tell and she laughed at all his jokes and seemed to glance at him more than the other Titans. If he didn’t know better he’d think she had a crush on him and well little did he know she kind of did. She so badly wanted to pet his curly dark green fluff on his head and she was curious if his ‘skin’ was just as soft and fuzzy as his hair could have been though she doubted she’d ever get to know. 

Titan Tower had a passcode that Robin typed in quickly on the pad before the door opened up into the ceiling. Terra awed at it as they guided her inside and up the elevator that lead them to the various floors that she’d soon be able to discover for herself. 

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like Terra. Please make yourself at home and ask if you need anything.” Robin told her with a rare smile on his face before he removed his gloves and when the doors opened he headed to his room. His mask coming off in the process and it was clear he was tired and wanted to get out of uniform. In fact they all were in Uniform. 

Starfire took Terra’s hand which caused the shorter to blush as she lead Terra to the bathroom to bathe her. Beast boy started to follow not realizing where they were headed and Starfire held up a bolt, eyes screaming danger. “Where do you think your heading? I am bathing our new friend and you are not welcome to join!” Terra giggled and the bathroom door was shut as he could hear water run. He headed to his room to grab her some clothes since he’d proabably throw hers in the wash and when he came back and knocked on the bathroom door Star wasn’t as harsh. “Thank you Garfield that is very kind of you. Here may you take the to the machine of washing?” She handed him a bundle of various gross pieces of clothes and did as Starfire asked of him.

“Of course Kory I got this in the bag. Who is gonna cook tonight?” He asked as his stomach did flips. The redhead pondered the question and chirped. “Oh it’s Raven’s turn!” Each night a different Titan would swap chores and that included cooking and or buying food for the team so everyone has a chance to get and eat the things they wanted. Raven was always the most inclusive and she would always make Beast Boy his vegan requests like the sweetheart she really was. 

Beast Boy crossed the living room and went to put the clothes in the wash and put a little extra detergent as he let it run. Those poor clothes would need maybe two rounds to even be considered clean. He himself went back to his room, right next to Raven’s and overheard something he probably shouldn’t have heard.

“Don’t babe me, Victor! She could be dangerous and here they are just letting her waltz in where we are most vulnerable! What is she works for someone? What if it’s all a front?” Of course Rachel would the one most concerned about someone new. “How can we trust her?” 

Cyborg sighed and held his girlfriend close. “Rav how did you learn to trust me? Or any of the team? You had to learn to trust them. You can learn to trust her.” Raven shook her purple hair bitterly, “No never!” Cyborg ran a robotic hand through his waves on one side of his head.”Not everyone is your father Rav. I know it’s hard to trust people. Just give her a chance, okay babe. If not for me at least for the team?”

She nodded and Garfield entered his room to change out of his uniform and Raven left her room with her boyfriend to go cook them dinner. Maybe she would really do this if she tried hard enough. Maybe she could actually manage to not ruin a friendship before it started for once. Maybe.


	2. Disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow another update same day?  
> It's like I am inspired or smth haha.  
> Also why does no one ship Cyborg and Raven it's UNDERRATED!! Cyborg needs love too.  
> Also I know the show gives it ONE day for Terra to open up to BB but thats not realistic. So slowburn time.
> 
> Also I'm soft ok
> 
> EDIT: I drew a piece for the chapter  
> https://www.deviantart.com/hewwoclouds/art/Terra-in-Kigu-839182061

Raven and Cyborg started cooking and Raven was no longer in her cloak and leotard. She was in sweats and a muscle shirt, all grey. It was something she picked up from her ever adorable boyfriend and ended up loving. Her troubles on the new intruder in her life melted away as Cyborg started peeling potatoes and she started tenderizing the steaks for everyone that ate meat. She would work on the tofu for Beast Boy later after the meat was closer to done.

Her hair was in a messy bun and she was listening to some jams from the radio on the counter. Victor swayed his hips as she continued and she couldn’t help but laugh at his behaviour. He gave her a small kiss on the cheek and tried to not be as distracting.

Soon enough Star around an hour later was walking Terra out of the bathroom, her pale skin bright red from all the scrubbing and her hair had been blow dried and braided by her Alien friend. She wore a fuzzy kigu that was a green unicorn, obvious that it was Logan’s. Yet Cyborg could tell it was Beast Boy’s favorite pjs and knew they were also around the only thing to fit the girl that Beast would able to loan.

Raven was not as bothered as she had been earlier at least and that was nice as everyone was starting to emerge. Robin was wearing batman logo printed pajama bottoms and no shirt, his own hair damp as he took a shower and had donned his mask again, probably due to their visitor. Otherwise everyone else has seen his face countless times.

Starfire was the only one still in uniform and she excused herself to go change and possibly to clean the now muddy bathroom. Robin and Terra were sitting on the couch waiting for Beast Boy to emerge and Starfire to come back. The brunette was sitting with his legs spread and his hand on his thigh and Terra was balled up in the corner of the couch with her legs tucked under her.

“So Terra is that your real name?” Robin asked softly. There came no response for a moment. “Oh I get it is it because you don’t trust me yet?” He wore a kinder smile and she nodded.

“How do you trust someone with your name if they can’t trust you with their face.” She responded and had a point. “How do I know you don’t wanna figure out who I am to use it against me?” Robin nodded. “Then lets trust one another okay?” His fingers went to his mask and slipped it off. “Better?” Terra took in the details of his face a strong nose with loosely sculpted features with eyes even a lighter blue than her own.

“No Terra isn’t my name. It’s Tara, Tara Markov.” He smiled and this time she saw it did not reach his eyes, maybe none of his smiles ever did. “Nice to meet you, names Richard Grayson. My dad calls me Dick though.” She stifled some laughter and failed. On the other hand a certain vegan came out of his room with a white shirt and blue sweatpants on. He had headphones in his ears and his heart cried out seeing Robin and Terra enjoying themselves.

Garfield knew Starfire and Robin were exclusive, but that did not mean Terra’s feelings would know that. He was worried maybe she already liked other people or what if she didn’t even like guys? He saw the way she blushed at Star and don’t get him wrong Starfire was very attractive, but what if she swung that way?

He just sat down on the couch with them and Terra gave him a soft wave and then he noticed. “Ri-Robin your mask is off.” He nodded. “Yeah I know. I took it off.” That was the end of the conversation as they watched Star glide out in fuzzy pink pj pants, a white crop top and a pink fuzzy top layer. Her hair was in pigtails with matching scrunchies in her hair. She snuggled right up to Robin on the couch and her pink equally fuzzy slippers slid off her feet.

Starfire was adorable and Terra watched Raven and Cyborg cook for a while before she got up and grabbed Beast boy’s hand. “Can you help me set up the table for them?” It was a soft request and he nodded. Typically they just ate on the couch but Terra did not know that and so he helped her set up the dining table that they had but almost never used.

Raven noticed and she smiled softly and she finished searing the meat and soon enough they were putting the food down on the table. Raven pulled out a Tub of Tofu from the fridge and cut some out for Beast Boy before searing on a clean pan the Tofu just as Logan liked it.

They ate peacefully and some of the eyes landed on Terra would maybe ate too fast and too loudly, but they overall ignored it as she attempted to have some manners. It was clear a real meal had been long overdue and no one was going to blame her.

Terra finished her food and Raven even offered her seconds but she only took a little more mashed potatoes so she could feel more full. “Oh Terra we really don't have much of a spare room and it isn’t set up.” Robin told her and he was going to offer his room to her but she laughed softly. “I’m fine on the couch, don't worry about me.”

They grabbed her plenty of pillows and a few blankets and as soon as everyone slowly retired to their respective rooms leaving Terra in the dark of the living room by herself. Honestly it was a little scary for Terra at first and she struggled to sleep until she passed out from exhaustion usually around five or six in the morning when Robin got up to do his morning exercises. He noticed the bags under her eyes and he wasn’t sure what to do to help.

It wasn’t long before the others woke up and rose and soon enough Terra was up with them all. Star noticed the bags as well and tried to convince her to go back to bed, but she played it off as fine and promised she would sleep better that night. They made coffee and Raven went to meditate with Star on the roof which left Beast Boy and Cyborg with Terra in the Living room playing video games. Which was more like she was watching that was until Robin came in from outside in civilian clothes and a motorcycle helmet with her bags from her cave.

“I got your stuff. If you want we can set up one of the spare rooms for you.” She headed over to him and went to go help with the spare room. She took her bag from him and he lead her to a random room that was empty. It was blank and void of anything besides a bed. Truly a spare room with no decor.

“Also I wasn’t trying to snoop, but I had to put some things in your bag and I realized without Melatonin you probably couldn’t sleep now could you?” She nodded. “I have insomnia. It’s difficult to do much about it without aid.”

“Look if you want you can go back to bed. Tomorrow we can all train okay? We would also love to see where your skill lies. If you need anything just come find me or any of the Titans, okay Tara?”

The way they looked out for her like she was one of their own was sweet. She fished out her cd player and slipped her headphones on before taking some melatonin to sleep away the exhaust from that night.

Robin on the other hand wanted to talk to the Titans about their visitor. He called a meeting in the livingroom and everyone joined. “Listen Titans. We know we have been enjoying Terra’s time with us, but we need to talk about this as a team. What does everyone think so far?”

There was some silence and then Raven was the first to speak. “I’d like to see what she is capable of before thinking of putting her on the team. What if she can’t fight with her powers as well as we think she can? It’s a liability.”

“Woah woah Rachel I think Terra should decide if she even wanted to be on the team. We shouldn’t make that decision for her. It should be her choice.” Of course that was Beast boys reasoning.

“I’m just worried where this poor girl would go. Like she was livin’ in a cave before we brought her here. What if she doesn’t have family.” Cyborg looked at Robin as if waiting.

“Before you ask..” Starfire cut him off. “You ALWAYS do research Robin. Do not expect us to think you did not this time. You did research on all of us before you even worked with us.” He sighed. “I did do research, but I think we should let her come to us. What I found...it’s not for me to tell you. It would be a breach of her boundaries just like Starfire’s sister and Raven’s father is.”

The room went quiet. “One thing is for sure she doesn’t fully trust us.” Raven’s eyebrows knitted together at that. “What do you mean she seems fine around us.” Everyone else seemed puzzled too. “It may seem that way but none of you know her name is Tara and none of you realized she has insomnia. She does not reach out to talk about us or herself extensively. She’s holding back and I know we are too. We should show her we trust her so she will show the same.”  
“What are you saying Robin? What should we do?” Star clutched her hair at the ends to play with it. “Maybe open up about ourselves. I’ll start. Also tomorrow we will be training with Terra this time.”

With that the meeting was over and the Titans seemed more confused where they stood with their new friend and why their leader cared so much to make her feel welcome. Was what he found really as bad as their pasts?


	3. Shopping!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen writing Star is hard due to her speech, but I think I got it. Also everyone makes me soft and this is just factual at this point. It took so long mainly because Robin is so hard to figure out how he'd manage anything and every chapter I just wing it. Please enjoy and I love hearing feedback.

“Hi, Robin.” Terra said softly as she poked her head through Robin’s door that was open. His lips quirked up into a gentle and welcome smile. “Hey Tara come on in. Did you sleep well?”  
Her blonde hair swayed as some came untucked from her ear and she nodded. “I did. I’m sorry if I worried you. I did-” She was cut off by a hand on her shoulder and suddenly the air felt very cold.

“Hey Tara I just wanted you to know that if there was something you wanted to tell us that you know we would understand right?” He seemed to be searching her blue before she turned away from him. “We all come from something similar.” 

She understood what he was talking about, wanting to deny it and she bit her lip trying to block out the world. He rubbed circles into her back and he let her have a moment. Richard tucked her hair back behind her ear. “I didn’t tell them. Don’t worry. You can talk to us whenever you are ready to give us that information okay? Why don’t you go get ready for training and I think Beast Boy is making breakfast today.”

It did not take more than that to have Terra leave and she went to her spare room to go get ready to train with them. She had no idea what she would be expecting, but she would figure it out.

When she came out in her usual shorts and a black tank top paired with a sports bra the rest of the house was not in the uniform which meant that obviously this could be intense workouts or training she did not know what to expect. Beast Boy had made tofu eggs and no one was complaining, much. However Star when done flew over the table and got right up in Terra’s face. 

“So I noticed you dress of three and no more so I thought I could have a go with shopping with you? We could get you lots of things to wear so that you could have clothes!” Terra just sort of stared at her in awe and laughed. “Star I have no money…” Kory giggled and shrugged. “Don’t worry about it, I have you covered.”

Breakfast came and went and thus they went to the built in gym which was pretty big, just as large as their living room and housed so many things for them to use and use their powers on however Robin said Terra would only be allowed to use a rock pile for her powers since he told her “Bringing down the tower or putting holes in it is not an option”.

She started by warming up and working on some of the machines. Everyone was working on various things to work on their core, cardio, or various other simple exercises. It was clear everyone was working on building their bodies weaknesses so that they could fight with their whole body. 

A few hours went like this with everyone rotating on the machines and Beast Boy and Cyborg working with one another before Terra hopped over to the rocks and worked on her power. Targeting points on a dummy with the stones. Her eyes glowing as she used her power and just worked on focusing. It was a simple task and she worked on putting force into her attacks. It was simple, but good to work on as sometimes making things come natural was easier than having to focus intensely. 

Eventually midday rolled around and Cyborg started to hand out water with a smile and took everyone to the at home infirmary. To make sure they didn’t exhaust themselves and Terra chalked it up to routine, but in reality they wanted to make sure she was healthy. Since as far as they knew she could have been alone for years. She could have fractures or any number of problems.

Cyborg saved Terra for last and everyone else left as they were checked to shower or eat before they could shower. When Cyborg finally got to Terra at first it was silent before she spoke. “So...what was your life like? Robin told me everyone was similar to me. Is that true?” Cyborg chuckled and shook his head. 

“Yeah kinda I suppose, except that we know nothing about you really. Robin wouldn’t tell us, said it was up to you to tell us.” He chuckled and shook his head as he scanned her slowly having her stay still. “But I can tell you a bit about myself I suppose.” It came out sarcastic. But in good nature. 

“I got into an accident while I was street-racing. It was so bad my mother and father had to replace a lot of my parts with cybernetic ones. Not these ones or most of these ones at least, I replaced them myself with ones that best suited me. The other titans helped me feel more comfortable in my skin. I used to be a star jock, but with being half cybernetic and all no one wanted to be around me so I ran off. Found the titans and we came together and it was rocky for sure, but we are a family and a team. We are all there for each other and always will be.”

He finished off the scan and did a few more tests before he smiled. “Just brush your teeth more okay Terra? I’ll make sure Starfire gets you some hygiene products okay?” She nodded and started to walk to her room before she stopped. “Do you ever regret running away Cy?” It was a hard question and she turned to look at him. He rubbed his neck and smiled. 

“Honestly? Sometimes I do, but then I remember how much it hurt as Victoria and how no one saw me for who I was just because my exterior changed. Would I ever change that decision? Never and I can’t regret it knowing the outcome.” Victor told her softly, guessing what it was asked for. 

She nodded before she headed out to go find Starfire so they could go shopping with the other before it got too dark. 

Starfire found her quickly and grabbed her hand before spinning Terra around by it. “Hello friend! Shall we do the shopping now?” Terra couldn’t help, but giggle and laugh. It was always wonderful hanging around Starfire and her happiness rubbed off on her all the time. “Yes Star let’s go.” Cyborg himself drove them to the mall and told Star to call him when she wanted to get picked up. He was the one of the few that could drive, but not the only one with a license.

Starfire was in some shorts and a white muscle shirt. It was a cute look with her hair in a ponytail and her sports bra peeking through the sides. It was more sporty than Terra thought she would dress. She held herself like a celebrity, but at least people tried to respect her and stay back a bit, but she could tell there were a lot of people staring at Star. 

“So I know we need to get you some product and not just clothes and we need basic stuff like underwear and socks! How do you dress? What is it that you find cool and with the human times?” She was floating around Terra as she asked and started a little rant that she was notorious for. They went into one store and got the basics like bras and underwear and even some sets of socks. The store was called ‘Vanitease’, not the best name for a store, but Terra could pretend like it wasn’t sexualizing. It was probably just trying to market to men to sell products for their girlfriend or wife.

They bought mostly sports bras, but of course Star had to get her at least one set that yes, she may never wear, but Star wanted her to have something for special occasions that could give her support. 

They ended up going to various stores and Starfire got her tons of self care supplies and a pj set that she could wear to bed at night. She ended up with two dresses, three pairs of pants, four pairs of shorts, five shirts, and three new shoes. Terra by no means thought she would wear everything, especially not the gold and strappy heels Starfire forced her into and made her wobble out and around in to ‘try on’. But Star wanted to make sure she had a little bit of everything in her closet.

“So what is your home like?” Terra asked Star, a bit curious. Star smiled at that almost as if it was nostalgic to think about for her. “Tamaran was more than my home. It was everything and beautiful. From space it is much like a pure white marble with human wine running through it! We had yellow clouds and blue skies much like Earth.”

Kori couldn’t help but do a spin and lift off in delight from explaining her planet. “It was quite lush and lovely that was until the invasion.” She seemed to sink from just mentioning it. “What happened to your home then?” Tara was noticeably worried and seemed to seek out an answer. 

“Well most of the everything died. It stands barren now. When it began many years ago my parents sent away my younger brother, Wildfire. I have never seen him since. He was just a baby when they had to. During this my older sister took advantage of the weakness my parents had and she sold me off to The Gordanians as a slave. They had since then passed away from grief and my sister stands as a lawless Queen with few under her.” Starfire was sullen before she put on a smile again and Terra realized that she never was truly happy, but quite hurt and sorrowful under her mask. She had many issues, but did not let them out in order to protect those around her. 

“Well I think we should head home now.” Terra said and started to head towards the exit. “Oh Terra I got you a present by the way.” Terra looked up to see what looked like an mp3 player with yellow headphones. “It stores more music than your player does. I asked them to load it up with music for you.”

Starfire also cared more than she looked. She knew if she would ever have to leave that she’d miss Kory the most, because in a day she truly cared about Terra. Star truly cared about them all.


End file.
